The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
