I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
do nipples grow back?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
