Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
this will be a night to untag.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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