Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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