Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
