the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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