Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
