you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What a dumb baby whore.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
