kristin has been a bad kristin
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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