Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
