im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
