No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize