My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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