Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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