quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
