Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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