I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
