Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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