He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
