I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
