I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
