We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just invented taco cereal.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
