they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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