Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
