can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
