He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
