It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
