his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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