He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
