Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
