New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
