Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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