I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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