yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Church boner. Awkwardddd
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
