don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
