I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
