I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We need to get me chipped asap
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
