peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
