I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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