these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
