so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize