You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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