Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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