Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
