I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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