Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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