You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
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You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
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Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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