i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
