the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
