Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
And then he peed in my hair
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