dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
