He had one of those small greek statue penises
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Randomize
