Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
