Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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