I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
