We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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