Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
