what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
