So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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