Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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