It's Friday. Sex?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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